Let me start this blog by saying what is right for me isn't right for someone else but I am going to try to explain how I feel about some of the comments on a video that went 'viral' last week.
For almost a decade I have sat on the side watching the mum's race at sport's day and for some reason I decided I'd give it a go. It was going to be hard work as it is uphill on grass but maybe I could make all those children who hadn't been winning feel a whole lot better! I was nervous and wasn't quite sure what it would be like or if I would feel a prat in front of everyone!
It was incredibly heart warming that the children and adults cheered me on right to the line but what was even more shocking was how the video spread like wild fire on X.
Media started to get in touch and last week started with an interview on BBC Morning Live.
I have received so many lovely messages for doing something that didn't seem like a big thing. It took 43 seconds of effort that's all- nothing compared to 17 days of walking the London Marathon yet it captured the attention of so many. Maybe because people could relate to it? Maybe because some have always refused to do the race as they think they aren't good enough? Or maybe they think they may trip in front of the whole school then have to face everyone at the school gate the next day?
Amongst all the messages there have been many people who feel the other mums should have slowed down and let me win or ran back down to me after the race and pushed me up the hill or cross the line behind me.
Firstly, others allowing me to win would mean nothing to me. Prouder about being last than others letting me win the race. To be honest, I did better than I thought so I was winning my own race- I was getting up a hill on grass.... slowly!
I would have hated my disability to stop the race which is always a great bit of fun for others and kids are cheering on their parents- I would not have wanted to stop the race. I love competition.
Just because it looked a bit steady and like hard work, I was quite happy and being pushed up the hill would also have been the last thing I had wanted.
I am someone who is always willing to accept help when I need it and I am grateful so many people are thoughtful and generous but these comments made me think about the 'so called' right and wrong thing to do with helping someone with a disability.
People are wanting to help for exactly the right reasons and it can be tricky to know what the 'right thing' actually is. Everyone is an individual and could feel differently- there is no set rule.
I think the important thing is to remember is communicate. Ask if help is needed before giving assistance and listen to the answer.
And remember that the harder the struggle the more glorious the triumph.... if you watch a marathon you can see that the finish line means as much to those coming last as those who win.
Sometimes in life we need to forget what others are doing and run our our race.
I have progressed quite well since my accident and am actually looking at getting back on my motorcycle. When it comes to help, I was often asked if I needed help getting my chair in or out of my car. Although I had got to the point I could manage on my own I always accepted kind offers of help just in case that person then thought maybe not to offer help to someone who was less able and needed the assistance.
As an aside, as you are an inspiration to me I've been told by people at the gym I use that I'm an inspiration to them. I was never told that when a was fully able.... Onwards and…